Let's Rickroll messy herd

or The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.

Skyrim is one of those 'you're the lone saviour' kinda games which annoy me sometimes.  While I'm out slaying dragons, defeating armies and killing super powerful evil doers, The Lords Recklessly Rim each other in their cosy little castles not lifting a finger to help.  Well fuck them.

This kind of attitude made me a few enemies along the way.  On one occasion I Recklessly Held Mrs Tor, which didn't go down too well with Mr Tor, especially when I started trying on her clothes.  By doing this though, I realised Her Smelly Skirt's Colder than her smelly trousers.  Which is obvious.

 I pissed some people off so badly once that a Clerk Hired Messy Trolls to kill me, but everyone knows that a trolls greatest weakness is fire, so I was all like "Sorcerer! Meld Thy Skills" and used ice to freeze them and fire to burn them, which made them run away crying to their mummys like whiny little troll bitches.  That's when they started trying to provoke me into angry responses on Skyrimternet forums.

Halt Our Fleet

or Fallout Three.

Lets Quickly review Fallout 3 shall we? On the surface it seems like Bethesda has taken Oblivion, added guns and set Reheat to Full. But dig a bit deeper and its much more than that. The story is quite well written, and if you thought Halo Felt True, you won't be able to Fault the Lore of Fallout 3. It's not perfect, and it's not like my Heart Fell Out with emotion, but it does a decent job. One of the big additions since Oblivion is the new V.A.T.S system (I'm not going to explain what it stands for, this isn't a real review). This makes gunfights simpler, and adds a pinch of tactics to combat, but is based partly on chance, so it is sort of half skill, Half Roulette. There's a lot of scope for moral choices, so you can choose to be the good guy or The Feral Lout who steals things and plants live grenades in peoples pockets for fun. Whilst wandering the wastes you have to scavenge for items like Athlete Flour and do silly missions like creating a cure to Heal Otter Flu or stop an epidemic of Lethal Toe Fur. You can pick up sidekicks who help you out along the way, which helps to relieve the isolation, but if you do let someone tag along you'll be entering an Utter Oaf Hell, since the AI for these NPCs is infuriating at times. Overall I'd give this game one fall out of three*.



*not a real review score.

Sir's Anal Coming.

or Animal Crossing

I was playing Animal Crossing the other day, and I bumped into that Maniac Girl's Son. I said “Setting fire to things is fun” In Sarcasm Lingo, but he didn't seem to understand. He said “Arson Is Calming”. I was a little worried at this point, because he asked me where I lived. I didn't want him to burn my house down! So I legged it! I went round to my mate Leo the lion's house because he is one hard bastard! We played on some games and then Leo the Lion Sang Racism! He was singing something about there being No Caring Islams. Fortunately, No Islamics Rang to complain about it, otherwise they would have had to delay the game's release...

Which would have been a shame.

I Order Germs

or Mirrors Edge.

In the Mirrors Edge universe, if you ordered germs, it's probably going to be Faith or one of her chums delivering them.

Faith would bump into some police men along the way, but being a kick arse chic, she'd probably steal their guns and leave them with Rogered Rims. I can't help thinking that her job would be easier if there were More Girders in the city for her to run along. It would probably make the Gods Merrier as well.

Ascend; Ass Rises

or Assasins Creed

Another anagramatic gem. This one relates to the actual gameplay mechanics in the game. The universe moves in mysterious ways.

When this game was released in caused something of a Sadness Crisis because it didn't quite live up to expectations, but personally, I Caress Sadness. It reminds me that I'm alive.

Preface

Hello there, and welcome to my blog, which is more like an archived record of my boredom, and a good example of why corporate entities shouldn't allow their employees to freely access the internet.

Below is a series of letters, with a smattering of punctuation. I have carefully arranged them to form some kind of semi-coherent message. Heed these brave characters and salute their..... bravery.

The basic premise of this blog is to get famous companys/games/people who are in some way related to the game industry and then piss about with all the letters in their name until (hopefully) something funny/topical/disgusting comes out the other side.

Since I have a back log of anagrams to post, I will be posting thick and fast at the start, then things will slow down to a sporadic dribble, and eventually everything will come to a grinding halt, nothing will ever be posted on here again, and it will end up floating around on some server taking up space that could be used for something better. This is the life cycle of a blog, and I for one am not about to go messing with the unwritten laws of the interweb by making this one any different.

Bate your breath and await the first of a few anagrams of goodness.